Old lady is diagnosed with attention deficit disorder. How she realized it is a doozy

I was recently diagnosed with a type of attention deficit disorder caused by my advancing age. This is how it manifests:

I decide to water my flower tubs.

As I turn on the hose I look over at my car and decide it needs washing.

I go to get the car keys from the porch and then notice mail on the porch table.

I decide to go through the mail before I wash the car.

I lay my car keys on the table, put the junk mail in the bin under the table and notice that the bin is full. So, I decide to put the bills back on the table and take out the rubbish first.

But then I think, I can run down to the mailbox when I take out the rubbish so I may as well pay the bills first. I take my checkbook off the table, and see that there is only one check left. My extra checks are in the computer desk, so I go inside the house to my desk where I find the can of soda I’d been drinking. I’m going to look for my checks, but first I need to push the soda aside so that I don’t accidentally knock it over.

The soda is getting warm, and I decide to put it in the fridge to keep it cold. As I head toward the kitchen with the soda, a vase of flowers on the window ledge catches my eye — they need water. I put the soda on the window ledge and discover my reading glasses that I’ve been searching for all morning. I decide I'd better put them back on my computer desk, but first I’m going to water the flowers.

I set the glasses back down on the window ledge, fill a container with water and suddenly spot the TV remote. Someone has left it on the kitchen table. I realize that tonight when we go to watch TV, I’ll be looking for the remote, but I won’t remember that it’s on the kitchen table, so I decide to put it back in the living room where it belongs — but first I’ll water the flowers.

I pour some water in the flowers, but some spills on the floor. So, I set the remote back on the table, get some towels and wipe up the spill.

Then, I head down the hall trying to remember what I was planning to do.

At the end of the day:

– The tubs aren’t watered;
– The car isn’t washed;
– The bills aren’t paid;
– There is a warm can of soda sitting on the window ledge;
– The flowers don’t have enough water;
– There is still only one check in my checkbook;
– I can’t find the remote;
– I can’t find my glasses;
– I have absolutely NO idea what I did with the car keys.

Then, when I try to work out why nothing got done today, I’m really baffled because I know I was busy all the darn day, and I’m really tired. I realize this is a serious problem, and I’ll try to get some help for it, but first I’ll check my email.