A man in a hospital room was visited by his doctor after a battery of tests. "Unfortunately sir, you have only one week left to live," the doctor announced solemnly.
"Doctor, what on Earth are you saying?” the man exclaimed, clearly shocked. "It's not my time! Please, tell me what can I do to live at least a little longer..."
The doctor thought for a moment, then proceeded to ask a series of questions.
"Do you eat fat foods?"
"Yes," the patient replied.
"You must stop," the doctor replied.
"That sounds difficult... But if I can live longer because of it… I'll do it," the man acquiesced reluctantly.
"Do you stay up late?"
"No more," the doctor ordered.
"If it’s so I can live longer… Fine."
The questions – and restrictions – went on.
"Do you have sex often? You must stop."
"Do you smoke? That must end."
"Do you drink? Not anymore."
"Fine, doctor, fine," the man gave in, feeling utterly depressed at this point. "But you didn’t tell me; if I do all the things you told me to – how much longer will I have, exactly?"
"You will still live for a week," the doctor replied, shaking his head. "But it will feel like a century."
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